Hospital night

 

Exploration

 Waking in the morning

can I have the day go my way?

or is there a sense of wonder...

finding through not knowing

will I lose myself...

and gain something new along the way

the past weighs heavy on me

it will always be there

whether I like it or lack acceptance

to forge ahead

I can pretend to be confident

if I’m not

There are waypoints as I travel,

friends

some close, others further away

their lamps shine

as I discover the future that is mine...

Hope in the Day

 Will I ever find hope?

in the day ahead

expansive, free of thought

I feel new life

Where does it come from?

not from the Sun and the Rain...

It came from the pain of long ago

Unknown, unspoken and unloved

like a dirty child playing in the mud

a cool voice calls her

she looks up and turns her head

a warm room and a meal in front of her

why not move on?

a gumboot is stuck in the damp earth

Let it go, let it go

part of us is left behind

Like a sinner on a Sunday

come home for a roast

and discover the gaps in time in front of me...

Browns Bay Sunrise, Auckland

 

In-som-nia

 

I break down the word

like it shatters my life

as persistent as

a prisoner’s strife

A hidden affliction

in the dead of the night

leads to a feeling

that something’s not right

Will it shorten my life?

Some people think so

Engulfed in this nuisance

I try to let go

A release of ambition

annealed by fire

this things got me beat

no point in desire

like a marionette

I’m jerked on a string

I cannot fight back

it just increases the sting

a breeze passes by

I look up in hope

has the man and his hand

let go of the rope...

will I be free

to enjoy natural slumber

or does this clown

really have my number?

I get extra time

to read and compose

and look on the bright side

of no nightly repose...

Where is that Sandman?

I beg and implore

to show that controller

the ultimate door...

Hell is not being able to let go

That fiery demon

deep within me

is restless

and discontent

It has no external power

For me

there is only one

Universal Being

I trip myself up when

I hold on tight

to my desire

for a world shaped by me

the isness is

what I’m really looking for

a blossom, a red sky

as potent as a new day...

Parallel Paths

 

I rearranged my kitchen

parallel path

to building huts

on the side of a small volcano

A human instinct

as old as time itself

satisfaction innate

as I turn my surroundings

into something past and present

Will my house be perfect?

Never.

Do I love it?

Very much.

Our huts were disposable

now my life depends

on a cottage roof

Rain out. Love in.

a place to play, and be real...